Hi...
I know I haven't been around much, and I haven't uploaded anything at all recently but I just came here to write this journal. I know everyone can read this but I think it's better if you write your thoughts rather than keep them to yourself. He, maybe it falls right under the category of talking about it with someone and talking to yourself about it.
I've done both, and I've done it in a number of ways just to see if there's a way out of this loophole I find myself in.
So far I've had no such luck.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you want something very much but you cannot get it? Of course you have, everybody has. But I'm not talking about the usual "I want to buy that" thing, I'm talking about something much deeper than that.
Imagine if that which you desire the most dangled in front of you and you couldn't do anything to get it. Your arms are either tied down or to heavy to move. That's how I feel right now.
Except that what I desire is being in the hands of someone else.
I mean, I'm not sad by any means. I'm just frustrated. There are two things that I can do. One is to confess what is it that you want to the other person and the other one is wait and maybe, one day you will be able to finally spend time with "it".
But I ask myself when this day finally comes. Will I be ready? Will I be able to make the most of it? Or will I ruin everything and my chance be forever lost?
Ok, I'm just gonna come out and say it, what if she didn't love me anymore?
*sigh...